This is a book read by someone who has been asking English questions in my blog. Just from the few examples provided by that person, I believe it to be a good book even though I did not read the entire book.
What I like about the book is the concept that it is trying to convey, which is what I have been preaching all along.
The book is not perfect as the explanations may not be clear all the time. However, it does provide ample before and after examples of what a good sentence consists. With that, I do recommend reading it.
This is an example that was provided to me.
An efficient middle school system of today should include adequate provision of manual training.
A modern, efficient middle school should provide adequate training.
Can you see the difference between the two sentences? The sentence rewritten becomes more clear, accurate and precise.
These are my explanations:
Of today -> modern
2. Correct word usage:
Since it is talking about the school, "system" is removed for its skewing the meaning.
3. Redundancy and wrong usage
(a) Provision when used as a noun usually means contracts, so it is somewhat misleading in this sentence. Replace "include" with "provide" and remove "provision". “Provide” is a stronger and better word to use in this case.
(b) "Manual" and "training" provides similar purpose. "Manual" is a book of instruction. So we remove "manual" and keep "training" instead.
This is the book